This installation of the Franklin Stove Blog is a departure from the usual format.

It’s fictional, based on accounts of actual events.

It might even be considered a ghost writ post.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

Hey, it’s me–Rose–from where my incorporeal form resides in Bryant Denny Stadium.

The Alabama Texas A&M game on the second weekend of October was a real nail biter. Alabama won by a mere four points with the final score being twenty-four to twenty.

The Crimson Tide‘s Heisman Trophy winning quarterback was unable to play. His replacement made some good plays but also plays that led to turnovers. And Texas A&M, without those turnovers, would doubtlessly have been far less competitive.

During the game I observed that, when fans at the stadium were worried, they’d clasp their sweaty hands as if they were praying. I bet there were more prayers said in the stadium on Saturday than in churches on the following Sunday.

Although Coach Saban and the team finally managed to find deliverance for the Crimson Tide, many fans ceased praying and began chanting the “Rammer Jammer” cheer.

Hey Aggies!
Hey Aggies!
Hey Aggies!
We just beat the hell outta you!
Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer
Give ’em hell, Alabama!

Considering the fact that Alabama barely squeaked out a victory over the Aggies, I wondered if was legitimate for fans to claim that they beat the hell out of anyone?

Once more I felt that I was transported into a version of a surreal Fellini movie. Perhaps some fans will confess to a priest about their untoward pride in Bama‘s miracle victory?

Of course, I can imagine that all of the campus watering holes were doing a lot of business after the game. Maybe after a few drinks, some of the fans didn’t recall how sweaty their palms had become during the game?

I remember a professor once explaining the reason that many students had sweaty palms during exams. He said that eccrine sweat glands are highly concentrated in the hands. They’re connected to our sympathetic nervous system, which kicks in when we’re stressed. That’s what he said anyway.

By the end of the game a few Bama cheerleaders were perched on the shoulders of other cheerleaders. Female Bama cheerleaders are just the right size to be hoisted and are tossable. They aren’t top heavy.

Some Bama fans might seem to be “hoist with one’s own petard,” as the Bard wrote, when they make the claim that “We just beat the hell outta you!” Maybe they should just toss out the Rammer Jammer cheer?