This installation of the Franklin Stove Blog is a departure from the usual format.

It’s fictional, based on accounts of actual events.

It might even be considered a ghost writ post.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

Hi, it’s me, Rose again. I’m the Spirit of the Crimson Tide, living in my home away from life–Bryant-Denny stadium.

It’s been hard to ignore the going ons of the sorority sisters. After all many of the campuses’ main sorority houses are located on Colonial drive right outside of the stadium. They even once came right into the stadium.

Remember when I wrote about the bid day in the stadium? “Bid Day on Sunday was when all those girls found out which sorority they would be joining. The screams from the selected girls would’ve been blood curdling, if I had any to curdle. Then they started running out of the stadium. It reminded me of one of those zombie movies that George Romero used to make, except they were sprinting and screaming at the top of their lungs and the zombies just silently staggered along in a shambling walk. Like the zombies, they seemed irrepressible.”

I knew that HBO had been doing a documentary about Bama sororities.

I just got hold of a copy of the latest Crimson White, which somebody had brought into the media center in the stadium. There was a story about the HBO documentary in it.

One of the voiceovers that was quoted in the story was, “Not to be dramatic, but this documentary could end Greek life as we know it.”

I really can’t see anything affecting Greek life though.

For the last week I’ve been watching students pile all of their junk into cars to head home. For a while it seemed that a lot of girls were wearing tangerine colored exercise shorts with black crop tops or tank tops.

I’ll bet, after the finals, some couples visited one of their favorite haunts — Lake Nichols. Lake Nichols is about five miles out of town. There have always been some students who jump off of the cliffs there, but most just sunbathe on the rocks. Police supposedly have patrolled the cliffs on the lookout for drunk swimmers. Sunburnt, tipsy lovers saying goodbye for the summer–what a sight that must be! I’m sure that the cars parked at Lake Nichols must have tags from several states.

The HBO documentary will probably just be another recruiting tool for the Greeks.

Of course there will be a lot of cellphone calls in May when HBO releases it. “Ew, I looked so gross. If I’d known they were shooting that day, I would’ve have at least washed my hair. But you looked great!”

What captured the attention of the documentary’s producers in the first place were the ubiquitous Tik Tok posts made by sorority sisters in 2021. Alabama Rush Tok posts were viewed by more than two billion people! The posts were about the girls’ tacky fashion choices and how they decorated their rooms with junk from Hobby Lobby.

The HBO documentary will, just like the Rush Tok posts, feed the emotionally insecure sorority sisters’ never-ending narcissistic appetite. But it won’t end Greek life in any way.